I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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