All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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