Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
