Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
