we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
