the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
