I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
