yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
