it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
