..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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