I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
