Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
