i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
