Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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