A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
