i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
