chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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