So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
