i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
