This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
