omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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