i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
