Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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