that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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