I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
