I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
