I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
