Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Randomize
