Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
