You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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