It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
