'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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