Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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