New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
