i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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