I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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