did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
