You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
When are your genitals available?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
