I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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