You made me cry and you don't even care
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
