if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
There's a naked man in my car right now.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
