Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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