After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
