is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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