Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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