why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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