It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
