We won't sleep together?
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
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