If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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