If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
