never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
