how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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