btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
