the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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