Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
