After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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