I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
