when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
