I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
