youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
