why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
The adults are the big ones right?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
