im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
